Posted on 01 October 2010. Tags: Clutter Control, Saving Money, Streamlining
The other day as I was shopping in one of the national chains specializing in home goods, it occurred to me just how easy it would be to leave with more than I intended to buy. The pleasing displays shouted out “you just might need me”!
The truth be known, I am not a shopper. Just owning up to that little detail raises eyebrows; a woman not being a shopper is like a man not interested in sports. It breaks the stereotype.
Don’t get me wrong, it is not that I dislike things. As a matter of fact I probably like nice things more than the average person. When analyzing my aversion to shopping I consider it a blessing otherwise I can only imagine the challenge I would face in my home with clutter and organizing, not to mention the real possibility of going broke.
I am not sure when I developed this problem but I do know why. Shopping requires decisions, time and money. The time and money thing I cherish too much and decisions have a tendency to make me nervous. So there you have it, you might say I have three strikes against me although my husband doesn’t look at it that way, he just smiles.
Despite this abnormal affliction, I still need to shop and as I said, I like things. This particular day I was looking for only one thing. As a matter of fact I didn’t even have a list. It was going to be a quick run in and out. All I needed were plastic liners for my refrigerator shelves. Going in I asked for directions, no sense in wasting time! The directions were not exactly direct and I found myself wandering the store. Even for me that was bad news. Everything was displayed in such a way that temptation took hold. As I enjoyed the fun of looking a bit closer at a bread-warming stone, dish drying gloves, a digital kitchen scale and a lid jar opener I reminded myself of a question I keep handy when temptation comes calling. “Will it be PHUN when I get it home?”
I may not be crazy about shopping but nevertheless for years this question has come in handy for me. The idea of analyzing where I am going ‘to put’ something or do I already ‘have one or more’, then will I really ‘use it’ and finally that all important question ‘do I need it’ usually is the trick to put it back on the shelf.
For the most part I have found that when I keep PHUN handy I find it more fun when I arrive home. I don’t need to put as much away and I am able to smile as I think of my courage in having kept impulse buying at bay. Although this particular day it did take hold as I picked up and put in the cart a pastry brush and two small butter dishes that were on sale. I have to admit that it was still fun when I got home because I knew where I was going to store them, use them and I certainly needed them as what I had should have been retired a year ago.
All in all it was a very good day remembering how I clung to the ‘P’ in PHUN when I spotted the candy bars at the checkout counter. As I sat down to my salad lunch I knew that the ‘P’ had saved me once again from an impulse that would have resulted all too clearly in an increased number on the bathroom scale!
Do you have any tips or cautionary stories of your impulse buying experiences?
Posted in Discovery
Posted on 09 May 2010. Tags: Clutter Control, Family
Recently I had the privilege to be part of the celebration of a dear friend who turned one hundred. The entire event sparked special memories of that wonderful mother who brought me up and if her life had not ended at age 62 she would be celebrating her 100th birthday on June 20th.
The shock of losing her suddenly 37 years ago has been replaced by a memory of her always being young. So much of what I feel and what I write are because of her. Even though we no longer have her physically with us the care she gave and the home she created will long be cherished and is the foundation of what I believe about the home environment. On Mother’s Day as I celebrate her life, I wish to travel memory lane through these few written words and share mom’s deep and unselfish love for her family and home.
Mom was christened Mary Catherine Ryan and grew up on a Kansas farm where she was somewhat of a tomboy and could race her horse, Smoky, as fast any of her brothers. Her petite figure didn’t stop her from being the running center on the high school basketball team. With the loss of her father at age eighteen and the onslaught of the great deep depression she boarded a train for the first time with five dollars and headed for Kansas City. Knocking on the door of a convent and asking the dear nuns to help her get a college education, mom found herself, four years later, as a registered nurse. During those trying years she scrubbed walls and floors of operating and hospital rooms to earn extra money to send home to help the family save the farm. They did save the farm and were the only ones in the area to do so.
Her small frame and spunky spirit as well as her natural beauty singled her out to be selected as one of the first airline stewardesses for TWA. Those were the days of Amelia Earhart when passenger aviation was in the infant stage. Mom didn’t fly long and she always changed the subject when asked about it. It wasn’t until after her untimely death that we began to put two and two together. As spunky as she was she never had a driver’s license and only drove on country roads when visiting the farm. Dad gave her numerous gift certificates for driver’s ed only to have them remain in a drawer. Mom died of a cerebral hemorrhage caused by the high blood pressure she couldn’t control. Her medical background and condition cautioned her to never drive and it answered the mystery of her flying days cut short. It was part of her quiet unselfishness to put others first and out of danger. It was also part of her Irish heritage of “holding one’s own counsel” and not drawing undo attention to oneself.
Recently, I was in California and got together with a high school friend who brought up memories of mom. My friend’s name is Mary too and maybe that is why they hit it off so well, although to hear her tell it, it was because of the homemade goodies mom always had on hand. Mary was thin and hungry and mom was delighted to have a small hand in fattening her up. Everyday after school Mary stopped off on her way home and while we snacked on mom’s fresh baked treats we danced to American Bandstand. We both became pretty good jitter buggers and I am sure it was because of all the new steps and twirling we practiced in front of the black and white Hoffman TV. Mom never seemed to mind that we claimed the living room for an hour or worried about wearing out the carpet. She was just as generous in the winter with my younger brothers when they took over the living room floor with their electric trains. With Christmas came the trains that didn’t disappear for at least six weeks.
All through her life the memory of the depression and her deep Catholic faith kept her grounded on what was important. Little was wasted in our home but at the same time she had no difficulty treating us to the most delicious hot fudge sundaes during a shopping spree. She loved her children to look well groomed and took pride in seeing that we did. She related to me years later how upset she was after a long hospital stay to come home only to find my braids a tangled mess and my shoes unpolished with heels worn down. She knew my dad did his best but she couldn’t hold back the tears.
We had few clothes but what we had were well made and up to date. It was a matter of course that school and Sunday clothes were taken off and hung up before play. My youngest brother’s first grade teacher commented that he was the best groomed child in the class. Mom made sure all of our shirts had a touch of starch and were well ironed so we could wear them at least twice. I remember complaining when I was a teenager about not having as many clothes as my friends. She explained that what was necessary to look great was to have a rested face, clean hair and laundered clothes. The amount of clothes were not as important as keeping them in good condition. Besides, I wore uniforms and it was foolish to have unnecessary things taking up space in the closet and adding clutter. She smoothed my teenage attitude by promising I would have all I needed for college. She kept her promise. As I look back on those days, I realize we did have everything we needed and less was truly more.
Through those everyday examples lived so naturally she taught me not only to care for clothes but also for home furnishings. Being the only girl with three brothers the two of us worked together as a team keeping up the house. To this day, I am convinced that no one can or could make a bed like my mother. It had to be her nurse’s training that made getting into bed seem like the next best thing to heaven. I will always remember after the difficult birth of our third child coming home to my mother, the nurse, and a bed made with linen that was as crisp and fresh as sheets blowing in a winter breeze. It was the best gift she could have given me and it is one I will always cherish. Those touches of love spoken and demonstrated, I am convinced, are the most precious and are singled out to live on through the years.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom and may you enjoy your 100th birthday with your dear Creator who made it all possible!
Posted in Discovery
Posted on 27 April 2010. Tags: Clutter Control, Communication, Family
It has been a long time since my kids were teenagers. It has been so long that we now have six grandchildren that are experiencing that strange and wonderful period of life. As I look back on those years in raising our own children and now share some of their challenges from afar, I realize human nature hasn’t changed. Being a teen is a scary period we all have traveled. It calls for a mixture of security and freedom. It is an odd combination and I guess that’s why it has and always will be a strange and wonderful time of life.
I often hear from mothers who are forging through this cataclysmic stage in which their once perfect child suddenly is transformed overnight into the perfect slob. They are no longer helping a precious little one to pick up toys or sort through stuffed animals but rather repeating that tired mantra of “hang up your clothes, clean your room, put things back where you found them”. Those of us who have experienced this sudden change and we ask ourselves “where did we go wrong?”
As someone who loves her home, I have come to learn the meaning of a real home. It is not about having all the things in all the right places all the time but it is about an environment that serves those we love. Let me explain: I was a normal teenager who went through that normal slob period of being independent with my own bedroom and my own things. There were days when the bed wasn’t made and most days when the top of the dresser was nowhere to be seen. I had a dear mother who believed what I have come to believe about the environment of the home being grounded in the service of love. More often than not when I left the bed unmade it was made when I came home. Now I know what you are thinking; my mother was a neat freak. The truth of the matter is: she wasn’t. My bedroom was down the hall from hers and days could have passed before she would have seen my mess or known my bed was unmade. What she did for me was pure love and I knew it. She didn’t touch my personal belongings or my messy dresser but she wanted me to climb into a comfortable bed every night. She never argued with me, she just loved me during this transitional period in my life.
These years can be wonderful for parents as well as teens if we allow them to be. Most of us are looking for ways to get closer to our kids, to spend quality time with them. Sharing some of the care they should be responsible for may be one answer. It is certainly true that we can’t continue to hold their hands throughout these years but helping them to clear out some of their clutter they have built up with a little music and conversation may be that secret catalyst you have been looking for.
We all know how necessary it is to help our little one put their toys away. It is overwhelming for them to try to do it all alone particularly if it is a real mess. Teenagers may be actually experiencing some of the same sense of being overwhelmed. Clutter and mess can cause confusion. We all function better in an orderly environment. We all want to come into a room where there is a semblance of beauty. It is human nature even if our children don’t fully grasp it yet. With all the outside forces and new responsibilities that teens are facing, they probably need such a haven more than ever. Take it from me, you likely will never hear how much they appreciate your help until they find themselves years later facing the same challenges with their own kids; but that is OK.
With your support, more often than not, you will spark an inner motivation in your teen that will materialize in ways that will someday make you proud. We are all familiar with the phrase “what comes around goes around” and when it comes to the care of the home I have seen it lived out more than once. When there is a sense of sharing the care through an understanding of where a person is at given moment in their life the ultimate results are quite amazing. I witnessed a niece who was a textbook slob as a teenager and her mother who was patient and at the same time delicately demanding. Today my dear niece has been transformed into a beautiful homemaker and mother. That spark of motivation may take years to fully ignite but an environment that serves those you love will be the insurance that supplies your peace while you and your teen travel this strange and wonderful time together.
Posted in Share the Care
Posted on 13 April 2010. Tags: Clutter Control
This is the time of year for a real home ‘Spring Fling’. In the light of brighter, longer and warmer days it is natural for most of us to begin to think about tossing and flinging those things that make our life a clutter mess.
But before you plunge in, do think it through…
- Ask yourself: what bothers you the most? Is it paper clutter, kitchen counter clutter, closet clutter, toy clutter, etc.?
- Once you have identified that cluttered space that bothers you the most, form a strategy to focus on that area without distraction. For example, will you actually need to organize more than fling or will you need to toss and give away? It may be a combination of both so before you start, write down what you need and then gather your dividers, folders and boxes so you will be mentally organized and ready to plunge in.
- Set a beginning and ending time for your Spring Fling effort. A focused amount of time, say 30-60 minutes is less daunting and perhaps more effective than embarking on a project that could eat up half your day.
Remember, when you have triumphed in one area you will be ready to move on to the next. We encourage our kids to take one step at a time and to be in the moment in order to do a good job so why don’t we do the same? That is one secret to less stressful de-cluttering. Happy Spring Fling!!!!!
What is your biggest spring clutter challenge?
Posted in Organizing
